Orphan 

Through the Eyes of an Orphan
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About The Author
 
Elizabeth Wiebe was born post World War Two
Winnipeg, Manitoba to German-Mennonite parents who had emigrated from Russia as children.  By the age of seven, she was an orphan and thereafter lived with relatives.
Today she is an experienced health care professional with careers in Intensive Care nursing, nurse practitioner in Northern Manitoba and various positions in the pharmaceutical industry.  She currently lives in Ottawa, Ontario. 
She has a wry sense of humour and enjoys painting and reading during her quieter moments.
The author is intense, driven and committed and has always
been dedicated to the pursuit of truth and integrity.  She brings
to the issue of orphans the same intensity and drive for results
that she has to every aspect of her life. Elizabeth has spent her
life trying to bring effectiveness to all aspects of treating human ailments. 
Her hope now is to lighten the load of orphans and bring them to
a point of healing.

Elizabeth Wiebe was born to German-Mennonite parents who had emigrated from Russia as children.  Her mother, at age 8, came with her 4 year old brother – both were orphaned as a result of the Russian Revolution.

 

As fate would have it, Elizabeth’s mother died when she was only 18 months old.  She was moved between
relatives and her father during the years following.  Just as more stability and the beginning of school was
formalizing in her life, her father was diagnosed with cancer and he died when she was 7 years old.

 

She was separated from her two brothers and taken in by well-to-do fundamentalist Mennonite relatives. 
Then her aunt, whom she had come to love as her own, died when she was 16 years old.

 

It was then that her life fell apart.  She lost family, church and community.

Frequently asked
Questions

Q.  What prompted you to write the book?

I had never really explored the inner feelings of abandonment; the incredible fear, insecurity and worthlessness that come with abandonment
(loss of parents whatever the reason).  It was all so quiet, as though nothing
had happened.  Not all trauma is drama.  It is a difficult thing to describe.  
I guess that's why there are vitually no books written about it by the orphaned kids.   Psychological trauma is so unseen that most people tend to ignore it.

Q.  What challenges did you face as an orphan?

Incredible fear and insecurity; fear of everything; fear of rejection,
feelings of worthlessness feelings of guilt.  Children are loving and absorb whatever happens around them as theirs.   

I was not able to talk about my losses - children don't know how to communicate yet they understand their cirumstances very well - probably better than most adults.  Adults did not want to discuss these heavy issues
- it made me feel that there was 'badness' associated with it and
internalized it as me being bad.  That was further abandonment.

 Q.  How do you recommend orphaned children address these challenges?  

 Let them know that: 

   * “none of what happens to you is your fault”; you are OK and you had nothing
     to do with the actions or happenings of others.  There is no guilt.”

  • There is love surrounding you; you just need to tap into it.  Pray and ask for devine help; believe in a higher power. Children may not always understand spirituality however they do understand 'guardian angels'.  
  • Have faith in yourself; you can make it in this life.

  • Sometimes children make negative decisions because they are hurt; they need guidance and options.
  •  Listen to what the children have to say and then act on it.
  • Make buddies with other orphaned children.  Caretakers need to provide the opportunity for children to become buddies.  Look after each other and support each other.  
  • Children should be grouped appropriately – similarly minded or similarly afflicted;  For example,in medicine you don’t put patients with prostate cancer in a support group with brain cancer – the needs are different.

  • Encourage children to do things for themselves so that they can become independent.

  • Studies on orphaned children have shown that only 15 minutes a day of kind, loving tutoring will consistently bring up the child’s grades by two points e.g. from a C to A.
  • Children who finish high school do better.

 


How is it easier for successful Canadian business couples to adopt
1, 3, 4 and 11 year-old overseas children rather than adopt here? 
Wouldn't it be nice if it were so because there are no more children who
are waiting for adoption in Canada?


Copyright 2005 Elizabeth Wiebe. All rights reserved.